What The Chuck: Doc Rivers, David Kahn, Francisco Garcia & Sam Presti


Brian Scalabrine has been pumping iron this offseason and Doc really likes what he sees

I’m traveling later this week so this post is coming to you a little early.  The start of the season is now about two months away and here are a few random NBA musings…

Doc Rivers Loves To Watch Brian Scalabrine Practice

As you can clearly see in the above picture, the cat is out of the bag.  The love that Doc Rivers has for Brian Scalabrine is now out in the open for everyone to behold.  There is absolutely no doubt about it.  Rivers is fully aroused while watching Scallie execute a perfect pick and roll.  I just hope this blossoming affair doesn’t negatively impact Boston’s quest to capture another title…    

David Is Now Officially Changing His Last Name To Kahntastrophe

I told you so.  The following excerpt is taken from a June 29th SCIC post:

“What isn’t funny though is that Kahn chose two undersized point guards (Rubio and Jonny Flynn) that he believes can effectively play together in the same back court.  Frankly, Madsen winning the MVP next season is a more likely occurrence.  I really don’t see Ricky ever wearing a T-Wolves uniform.  Why would Rubio pay $5 million (or more) out of his own pocket to buy-out his current contract?  To play in Minnesota on a horrible team with limited endorsement opportunities?  It just isn’t going to happen.”

Bring Me The Head of Francisco Garcia

Oh, it’s Alfredo Garcia?  Alfredo…Francisco…close enough.  I hate to sound immodest, but there is nobody on the planet better than me at fantasy basketball.  Nobody.  Just keep reading SCIC and I guarantee that I’ll help you win your fantasy league this year.  Here is my first tip for you:  Draft Francisco Garcia.   Did you know he was one of only four players in the league last season to average one steal, one block and one three-pointer a game?  The other three guys on this short list happen to be named LeBron, Wade and Granger.  Other than Kevin Martin, who is going to score for the Kings?  When the eighth or ninth round rolls around, do yourself a favor and take Garcia… 

Why Does Everybody Love Sam Presti?

During Presti’s reign as GM in Seattle/Oklahoma City, the team’s overall record is 43-121.  Presti hired P.J. Carlesimo to be Kevin Durant’s first head coach.  Despite having considerable cap space, this past offseason Presti’s big acquistions were Etan Thomas and Kevin Ollie.  One has a heart problem and the other is 53-years old.  Hey KD, Westy, Green and Harden:  since there isn’t anything in Oklahoma City other than steers and queers (nothing like a timely “An Officer and a Gentleman” reference),  I’ll just keep you entertained with the Etan & Ollie Show!  I don’t get it.  If someone can explain to me why Presti is the NBA’s Golden Boy, I’m all ears.

If you’re jonesin’ for more hoops humor check out Pacman Jonesin’…or else!   Questions or comments can be sent to [email protected].


Tags: David Kahn Doc Rivers Francisco Garcia Sam Presti

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