Nov 18, 2013; Brooklyn, NY, USA; Brooklyn Nets shooting guard Jason Terry (31) celebrates after scoring a three point basket during the second quarter against the Portland Trail Blazers at Barclays Center. Mandatory Credit: Anthony Gruppuso-USA TODAY Sports

NBA Tanking Ranking (Week 4): Welcome, Brooklyn and New York

There are some bad teams in the NBA and then there are some really bad teams in the NBA. They stink more than my– I’ll stop there.

Anyways, they’re bad. So we decided to make a ranking for them since, ya know, tanking is going to be so popular in the NBA this season. Forget power rankings, we know the Miami Heat are always going to top that, but who’s leading the tanking ranking?? Yes, we want to make that a thing. Also, click here for updated available NBA odds.

So let’s get this thing started. First, we’ll sectionalize them by levels of smell, just to make it interesting. Here we go…week 3…


SMELLY UNDERWEAR – Bad, but manageable.

10. Toronto Raptors


Record: 4-7

The Raptors beat the Grizzlies last Wednesday, but have lost three of their last four games. Not a good look. 

9. Denver Nuggets

LW: 3

Record: 4-6

The Nuggets won three games in a row last week, but then lost the last two. Maybe they’re starting to turn the corner. I think so. 

8. Boston Celtics

LW: 8

Record: 4-7

Celtics are heading into a real tough portion of their schedule. We could very well see Boston float to the top of this ranking by next week. By the way, I was so wrong about Kelly Olynyk. 


USED DIAPERS – A little worse than dirty underwear, but the smell is very much noticeable.

7. Detroit Pistons

LW: 7

Record: 3-6

This team just doesn’t work — or doesn’t play defense, I should say. They may put on a great offensive showcase, but their defense has been the downfall for this team so far. 

6. New York Knicks


Record: 3-6

I literally don’t know what is going to happen with this team tomorrow. Only that they’ll probably lose. Enjoy Carmelo, New York. The way this season has started, it may be his last in a Knicks uniform. 


ROADKILL – Man, you smell that? What’d we hit?

5. Brooklyn Nets


Record: 3-7

At what point int he season do we start calling these Nets a bust? Also, Jason Kidd looks like a horrible head coach.

4. Washington Wizards

LW: 4

Record: 2-7

I’m still waiting for this team to wake up. 


DEAD FISH – Yeap, they’re dead. Where are the close pins?

 3.  Sacramento Kings

LW: 2

Record: 2-7

So much talent. So much talent. But haven’t we been saying that for the past few years? Maybe they’re just not that good? 

2. Milwaukee Bucks

LW: 5

Record: 2-7

At least they’re not going to be the 8th seed again. 

1.  Utah Jazz

LW: 1

Record: 1-11

At least they won a game, right? 

Tags: Boston Celtics Brooklyn Nets Denver Nuggets Detroit Pistons Milwaukee Bucks NBA New York Knicks Sacramento Kings Toronto Raptors Utah Jazz Washington Wizards

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