Anyways, they’re bad. So we decided to make a ranking for them since, ya know, tanking is going to be so popular in the NBA this season. Forget power rankings, we know the Miami Heat are always going to top that, but who’s leading the tanking ranking?? Yes, we want to make that a thing. Also, click here for updated available NBA odds.
So let’s get this thing started. First, we’ll sectionalize them by levels of smell, just to make it interesting. Here we go…week 3…
SMELLY UNDERWEAR – Bad, but manageable.
The Raptors beat the Grizzlies last Wednesday, but have lost three of their last four games. Not a good look.
9. Denver Nuggets
The Nuggets won three games in a row last week, but then lost the last two. Maybe they’re starting to turn the corner. I think so.
Celtics are heading into a real tough portion of their schedule. We could very well see Boston float to the top of this ranking by next week. By the way, I was so wrong about Kelly Olynyk.
USED DIAPERS – A little worse than dirty underwear, but the smell is very much noticeable.
This team just doesn’t work — or doesn’t play defense, I should say. They may put on a great offensive showcase, but their defense has been the downfall for this team so far.
I literally don’t know what is going to happen with this team tomorrow. Only that they’ll probably lose. Enjoy Carmelo, New York. The way this season has started, it may be his last in a Knicks uniform.
ROADKILL – Man, you smell that? What’d we hit?
At what point int he season do we start calling these Nets a bust? Also, Jason Kidd looks like a horrible head coach.
I’m still waiting for this team to wake up.
DEAD FISH – Yeap, they’re dead. Where are the close pins?
3. Sacramento Kings
So much talent. So much talent. But haven’t we been saying that for the past few years? Maybe they’re just not that good?
2. Milwaukee Bucks
At least they’re not going to be the 8th seed again.
1. Utah Jazz
At least they won a game, right?