Anyways, they’re bad. So we decided to make a ranking for them since, ya know, tanking is going to be so popular in the NBA this season. Forget power rankings, we know the Miami Heat are always going to top that, but who’s leading the NBA tanking ranking?? Yes, we want to make that a thing.
The Knicks are still bad, the Nets, too. The Bulls might not be far behind and the Heat, Pacers and Spurs are definitely the class of the NBA.
So let’s get this thing started. First, we’ll sectionalize them by levels of smell, just to make it interesting. Here we go…week 7…
SMELLY UNDERWEAR – Bad, but manageable.
The Derrick Rose effect. Unfortunately the horrible Eastern Conference won’t let the Bulls fall out of the playoff picture entirely. Luol Deng may be traded later in the year, but the fact that Rose said he’d come back if he could late in the year may keep that from happening.
Kyrie Irving is “pouting” and may be counting his days in Cleveland. Remember when LeBron James was going to see all the talent on this team and make his return home next summer?
How in the world did the Raptors find a way to trade Rudy Gay?
USED DIAPERS – A little worse than dirty underwear, but the smell is very much noticeable.
Accept the Tank. Live by the Tank. Embrace the Tank.
The Kings are going to be fun to watch, if nothing else. We’ll see if Rudy Gay can avoid messing that up for us.
ROADKILL – Man, you smell that? What’d we hit?
Deron Williams and Paul Pierce may be returning to the Nets lineup tonight. Health coming around, will they turn it around?
4. Orlando Magic
Six losses in a row for this squad. Nice pieces, but don’t have THE piece yet. It’s understandable.
DEAD FISH – Yeap, they’re dead. Where are the close pins?
The Knicks beat the Nets and Magic convincingly, but then go and do something like lose by 41 to Boston. Tyson Chandler says he wants to return New Year’s Day. I guess that’s good.
2. Utah Jazz
The Jazz are racking up the losses.
1. Milwaukee Bucks
Plan is going exactly as planned for this Bucks team — AVOID THE 8TH SEED.