Anyways, they’re bad. So we decided to make a ranking for them since, ya know, tanking is going to be so popular in the NBA this season. Forget power rankings, we know the Miami Heat are always going to top that, but who’s leading the NBA tanking ranking?? Yes, we want to make that a thing.
The Knicks are falling like flies, the Nets are improving, the Heat play the Pacers tonight and the Atlantic Division could be the worst division in the history of sports divisions.
Here we go…week 8…
SMELLY UNDERWEAR – Bad, but manageable.
10. Cleveland Cavaliers
Dion Waiters could be on the trading block. Wait, he IS on the trading block. Expect Waiters to be moved sooner or later. Bet on the under.
9. Chicago Bulls
For some reason, Tom Thibodeau won’t let this team die. I really don’t know what Bulls fans want right now. Some want them to throw in the towel; some want them to keep this core together. Tough spot for TT to be in.
8. Brooklyn Nets
All of a sudden, the Brooklyn Nets don’t look horrible. They look OK and the good news for them is that OK may be good enough to win the Atlantic.
USED DIAPERS – A little worse than dirty underwear, but the smell is very much noticeable.
7. Toronto Raptors
Masai Ujiri is haunting the New York Knicks right now and I love every minute of it. Meanwhile, the Raptors keep losing on the court.
6. New York Knicks
The Knicks are falling like flies. The good news is that Tyson Chandler may return tonight. We’ll see if he’s the big difference everyone is making him out to be.
ROADKILL – Man, you smell that? What’d we hit?
5. Sacramento Kings
The Kings are one of the most exciting teams to watch in the NBA. Their roster may take some time to begin to mesh, but the future is bright in Sac-Town
4. Orlando Magic
Now this is where we thought we’d see the Magic all year long. Embrace the Tank, Orlando.
DEAD FISH – Yeap, they’re dead. Where are the close pins
3. Philadelphia 76ers
Waiters wants to be a Sixer, because he wants to be the best player on his team. I can’t wait until he gets to Philly and realizes that Michael Carter-Williams is better than him. Awkward.
2. Utah Jazz
For the second week in a row, the Utah Jazz is not the No. 1 team on this list! Steady progress.
1. Milwaukee Bucks
Imagine Jabari Parker or Andrew Wiggins on the Bucks…yuck.