Dec 17, 2013; Charlotte, NC, USA; Sacramento Kings forward Travis Outlaw (25) after the loss to the Charlotte Bobcats at Time Warner Cable Arena. Bobcats win 95-87. Mandatory Credit: Sam Sharpe-USA TODAY Sports

NBA Tanking Rankings (Week 8): The Atlantic continues to sink...

There are some bad teams in the NBA and then there are some really bad teams in the NBA. They stink more than my– I’ll stop there.

Anyways, they’re bad. So we decided to make a ranking for them since, ya know, tanking is going to be so popular in the NBA this season. Forget power rankings, we know the Miami Heat are always going to top that, but who’s leading the NBA tanking ranking?? Yes, we want to make that a thing.

The Knicks are falling like flies, the Nets are improving, the Heat play the Pacers tonight and the Atlantic Division could be the worst division in the history of sports divisions.

Here we go…week 8…


SMELLY UNDERWEAR – Bad, but manageable.

10. Cleveland Cavaliers

LW: 9

Record: 9-15

Dion Waiters could be on the trading block. Wait, he IS on the trading block. Expect Waiters to be moved sooner or later. Bet on the under.

9. Chicago Bulls

LW: 10

Record: 9-14

For some reason, Tom Thibodeau won’t let this team die. I really don’t know what Bulls fans want right now. Some want them to throw in the towel; some want them to keep this core together. Tough spot for TT to be in.  

8. Brooklyn Nets

LW: 5

Record: 9-15

All of a sudden, the Brooklyn Nets don’t look horrible. They look OK and the good news for them is that OK may be good enough to win the Atlantic.


USED DIAPERS – A little worse than dirty underwear, but the smell is very much noticeable.

7. Toronto Raptors

LW: 8

Record: 9-13

Masai Ujiri is haunting the New York Knicks right now and I love every minute of it. Meanwhile, the Raptors keep losing on the court.

6. New York Knicks

LW: 3

Record: 7-17

The Knicks are falling like flies. The good news is that Tyson Chandler may return tonight. We’ll see if he’s the big difference everyone is making him out to be.


ROADKILL – Man, you smell that? What’d we hit?

5. Sacramento Kings

LW: 6

Record: 7-16

The Kings are one of the most exciting teams to watch in the NBA. Their roster may take some time to begin to mesh, but the future is bright in Sac-Town

4.  Orlando Magic

LW: 4

Record: 8-17

Now this is where we thought we’d see the Magic all year long. Embrace the Tank, Orlando.


DEAD FISH – Yeap, they’re dead. Where are the close pins

3.  Philadelphia 76ers

LW: 7

Record: 7-19

Waiters wants to be a Sixer, because he wants to be the best player on his team. I can’t wait until he gets to Philly and realizes that Michael Carter-Williams is better than him. Awkward.

2. Utah Jazz

LW: 2

Record: 6-21

For the second week in a row, the Utah Jazz is not the No. 1 team on this list! Steady progress.

1.  Milwaukee Bucks

LW: 1

Record: 5-19

Imagine Jabari Parker or Andrew Wiggins on the Bucks…yuck.


Tags: Brooklyn Nets Chicago Bulls Cleveland Cavaliers Milwaukee Bucks NBA New York Knicks Orlando Magic Philadelphia 76ers Sacramento Kings Toronto Raptors Utah Jazz

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