Dec 23, 2013; Cleveland, OH, USA; Cleveland Cavaliers head coach Mike Brown reacts in the fourth quarter against the Detroit Pistons at Quicken Loans Arena. Mandatory Credit: David Richard-USA TODAY Sports

NBA Tanking Rankings: Memphis decides to join the party

There are some bad teams in the NBA and then there are some really bad teams in the NBA. They stink more than my– I’ll stop there.

Anyways, they’re bad. So we decided to make a ranking for them since, ya know, tanking is going to be so popular in the NBA this season. Forget power rankings, we know the Miami Heat are always going to top that, but who’s leading the NBA tanking ranking?? Yes, we want to make that a thing.

Here we go…week 9…


SMELLY UNDERWEAR – Bad, but manageable.

10. Memphis Grizzlies 


Record: 12-15

It just hasn’t been the Grizzlies season — injury after injury after injury. However, with news that Marc Gasol could return in a week and a half, it should bring back some hope. Some. 

9. Chicago Bulls

LW: 9

Record: 10-16

The Bulls just won’t admit that they’re done. They just won’t begin the rebuilding process. In the long run, it’ll come back to bite them in the back.  

8. New York Knicks 

LW: 6

Record: 9-18

For the past seven games, the Knicks have been trading wins and losses. Sooner or later, they’ll put a run of W’s together…right? 


USED DIAPERS – A little worse than dirty underwear, but the smell is very much noticeable.

7. Cleveland Cavaliers 

LW: 10

Record: 10-17

Let’s just remind ourselves that the Cavs selected Anthony Bennett with the No. 1 overall pick in the 2013 NBA Draft. 

6. Brooklyn Nets

LW: 8

Record: 9-18

There’s no way you can overstate the loss of Brook Lopez. He was the Nets best player so far this season and it’ll be nearly impossible to fill the void that he will leave. It’s officially panic time in BK. 


ROADKILL – Man, you smell that? What’d we hit?

5. Sacramento Kings

LW: 5

Record: 8-18

The Kings struggle to put-together back-to-back wins. In the NBA, that’s kind of important. 

4. Utah Jazz 

LW: 2

Record: 8-23

Trey Burke is bringing glimpses of hope to Utah. It still isn’t enough to keep them out of the bottom five, though. Not this week. 


DEAD FISH – Yeap, they’re dead. Where are the close pins

3. Philadelphia 76ers

LW: 3

Record: 8-20

Dion Waiters still isn’t a Sixer yet. I wonder what the hold-up is? 

2. Orlando Magic

LW: 4

Record: 8-20

The Magic are 2-8 in their last 10 games. Expect more of the same for the rest of the year.

1.  Milwaukee Bucks

LW: 1

Record: 6-22

Some things never change. The Bucks are in full tank mode. 

Tags: Brooklyn Nets Chicago Bulls Cleveland Cavaliers Memphis Grizzlies Milwaukee Bucks NBA New York Knicks Orlando Magic Philadelphia 76ers Sacramento Kings Utah Jazz

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