NBA Team’s New Year’s Resolutions

Dec 31, 2013; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Los Angeles Lakers guard Kobe Bryant (left) and forward Jordan Hill react in the fourth quarter against the Milwaukee Bucks at Staples Center. The Bucks defeated the Lakers 94-79. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

With New Year’s Day finally upon us, it’s the perfect time for Sir Charles In Charge to release each team’s New Year’s Resolutions.

Editors note: This post is written with snark and was put together at 4 a.m. after I had one too many root beer’s. Enjoy.

 

Atlanta Hawks – Overcome the loss of Al Horford.

Boston Celtics – Find a way to keep Rajon Rondo and/or figure out a way to get Brad Stevens to properly tank.

Brooklyn Nets – Invent a time machine, go back in time, never trade for Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett and never hire Jason Kidd. Simple.

Charlotte Bobcats – Figure out a way to get Michael Jordan to step down.

Chicago Bulls – Find a team that is willing to trade for Luol Deng. Find another team that is willing to trade for Carlos Boozer.

Cleveland Cavaliers – Bring LeBron James back home.

Dallas Mavericks – Find Dirk Nowitzki a fountain of youth.

Denver Nuggets – Find the fountain of consistency.

Detroit Pistons – Get Josh Smith to stop shooting three’s.

Golden State Warriors – Avoid the San Antonio Spurs and Oklahoma City Thunder in the playoffs.

Houston Rockets – Defense. Defense. Defense.

Indiana Pacers – Have the Miami Heat contracted from the Eastern Conference.

Los Angeles Clippers – Acquire Andrew Bynum, or any other post that will add frontline depth.

Los Angeles Lakers – Convince Kobe Bryant to sit out the season, trade Pau Gasol and TANK HARD.

Memphis Grizzlies – Reset the season.

Miami Heat – Have Dwyane Wade undergo knee replacement surgery.

Milwaukee Bucks – Hope the ping pong balls bounce your way, then hope Jabari Parker likes Wisconsin.

Minnesota Timberwolves – Buy Ricky Rubio a jump shot.

New Orleans Pelicans – Lock up Anthony Davis before he realizes how good he is and that he’s playing in New Orleans.

New York Knicks – Trade Carmelo Anthony, fire everyone. Everyone.

Oklahoma City Thunder – Hope Russell Westbrook can stay healthy when he returns and for the foreseeable future.

Orlando Magic – Find some good assets in return in any Arron Afflalo trade.

Philadelphia 76ers – Don’t make a foolish trade.

Phoenix Suns – Get Eric Bledsoe to sign looooooong term in Phoenix.

Portland Trail Blazers – Hope the fast start isn’t just that – a fast start.

Sacramento Kings – A year of maturity, followed by a summer of maturity.

San Antonio Spurs – Good health.

Toronto Raptors – Continue to bait the New York Knicks into panic trades.

Utah Jazz – Find hope for the future in Trey Burke.

Washington Wizards – Make the playoffs, make some noise.

 

Topics: Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Brooklyn Nets, Charlotte Bobcats, Chicago Bulls, Cleveland Cavaliers, Dallas Mavericks, Denver Nuggets, Detroit Pistons, Golden State Warriors, Houston Rockets, Indiana Pacers, Los Angeles Clippers, Los Angeles Lakers, Memphis Grizzlies, Miami Heat, Milwaukee Bucks, Minnesota Timberwolves, NBA, New Orleans Pelicans, New York Knicks, Oklahoma City Thunder, Orlando Magic, Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns, Portland Trail Blazers, Sacramento Kings, San Antonio Spurs, Toronto Raptors, Utah Jazz, Washington Wizards

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