5. “We started the season 0-4 and then barely beat the Timberwolves at home. Man, Mike Dunleavy really does suck.” – Blake Griffin
4. “Um, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to bring Allen Iverson to Memphis.” – Michael Heisley
3. “Nellie is a lunatic. If Mikki Moore is taking Anthony Randolph’s minutes right now then maybe Acie Law is going to get mine.” – Monta Ellis
2. “First it was Andrew Bynum and Rihanna, then Lamar and Khloe Kardashian and now Sasha and Sharapova. Wait until I reveal that I’ve been hooking up with Tara Reid for the past month.” – D.J. Mbenga
1. “Hey Agent Zero, noboby gives a better rim job than your fiance. When you kiss her next time, tell me how my ass tastes.” – Shaqille O’Neal
Check out more of Drew’s lists and musings over at Pacman Jonesin’