NBA Playoffs 2017: What We Learned Over The Opening Weekend
By Mason McFee
Khris Middleton Needs to Change His Name
Jonathan Tjarks of the Ringer wrote a great piece on K-Midd a few weeks back, which you can find here. I would suggest you read it so you can greater appreciate him as his squad advances through the Eastern Conference.
Khris Middleton doesn’t really have a position. He’s 6’8″, but can handle the ball like a guard (and sometimes brings it up the court), but can defend every position on the floor without really breaking a sweat. He has a sweet shooting stroke that, if it starts falling, good night. The other team should start packing it up and heading home. Don’t believe me? Consider the following scenarios:
Scenario 1: Khris Middleton has hit his first 3 shots. It’s early on, so DeRozan shakes it off. Fast forward to the next possession, and Carroll slides over to help. Giannis sees a lane, cuts, dunks.
Scenario 2: Khris Middleton has scored the last 10 points for the Bucks, but Toronto is still in the lead and feeling good. Suddenly Middleton bursts to the basket and is immediately met by Valanciunas manning the paint. What Jonas hasn’t realized is that Middleton is already in the Year 3000, and Thon Maker is draped all over his back as he hammers down a jam that looks like something from the future. Drake immediately burns all his Raptors apparel on Instagram and swears allegiance to King Giannis.
Scenario 3: Drake is still shook from Kendrick’s new album, so he decides to whip up a new single that he entitles ‘Why Can’t the Raptors Play Well In the Postseason?’ His fans are puzzled by his lack of one to two word track titles, so they plan a rally outside Air Canada Centre, forcing the Raptors to forfeit the series.
While the 2nd scenario is surprisingly plausible, the 3rd is the most likely to happen. Khris Middleton is that good people.
Bottom line: we need to start calling him Khash I’m Stealing Your Team’s Lunch Money Middleton.