2017 NBA Draft: 10 takeaways from a wild night

The 2017 NBA Draft happened, and it did not disappoint. Here are ten takeaways from an evening that should shape the league for years to come.

NBA Draft night always produces a lot of your traditional wrap-up pieces – biggest steals, worst reaches, best team fits, etc. – so here’s a slightly more outside-the-box list of the top 10 takeaways from NBA Draft night.

Enjoy.

The Kings become a viable league pass team.

We were waiting all week for the Kings to blow it by packaging 5 and 10 to move up. They not only resisted the urge, put swapped 10 for 15 and 20 and came out of the deal on top. After taking the exact player they need in De’Aaron Fox with the fifth pick, they watch Justin Jackson fall to 15, and then took Harry Giles – the best lottery ticket in the draft – at 20.

More from Sir Charles In Charge

Adding to the feisty Buddy Hield and suddenly intriguing Skal Labissière, the Kings can now boast what passes for an intriguing young core. Sac Town fans deserve it.

The biggest winner of the night was easily Jay Bilas’ beard.

He had that thing perfect. Just the right length of stubble to make what’s left of the hair on top of his head look hip. Definitely made the wingspan drinking game more palatable this year.

The bloom continues to come off the rose on the 2015 draft.

Last night saw Utah give up on Trey Lyles – a really, really promising player not too long ago – in a trade for the 13th pick (they also sent the 24th pick to the Nuggets). Lyles is the second 2015 lottery selection to be traded for an underwhelming return this week, following D’Angelo Russell going to the Nets. Jahlil Okafor (3), Mario Hezonia (5) and Emmanuel Mudiay (7) are clear disappointments. The jury is still out on a few more – Willie Cauley-Stein (6), Stanley Johnson (8), Frank Kaminsky (9), and Justise Winslow (10) – but it’s not looking good.

The third and fourth best players from that draft were taken at 11 (Myles Turner) and 13 (Devin Booker). The lesson, as always: drafting is glorified dart throwing, only without the beer. Well, unless you’re the Bulls.

Speaking of beer, Adam Silver isn’t necessarily someone I’d want to knock a few back with, but if I walked into my mom’s house and he were a dinner guest, I’d definitely stand there and talk to him for a solid 6-8 minutes, and would probably walk away thinking I should have stayed longer.

Seems like a solid guy.

The Bulls front office did their best to make Knicks’ fans everywhere feel better about their life choices.

The Butler trade was a bit of a shocker, to say the least. Not that he was dealt, but that they’re receiving exactly zero sure things in return. Zach LaVine was looking like Jamal Crawford 2.0 before he tore his ACL, and Kris Dunn looks like a solid if unspectacular NBA backup. With the 7th pick, however, they redeemed themselves by taking a guy who definitely looks like he won’t get killed on every single high pick & roll that’s inevitably coming his way.

Oh, wait…

Lauri Markkanen?

Really? There’s a chance that Dennis Smith doesn’t put him on a poster the first time Dallas plays Chicago this year…but you wouldn’t bet on it. It’s almost as if the Bulls front office doesn’t know what its doing. Shocking.

The Magic continue to be the most irrelevant team in the league.

Jonathan Isaac was a player screaming to be drafted by a team who would be able to figure out how to properly use his unique set of skills and physical tools. Instead he goes to Orlando, a team that has already shown it has no clue how to properly bring along talented yet nontraditional big men.

The Magic are less interesting than the big hairy thing in the GE commercial, which remains oddly captivating for reasons that cannot be explained.

The entire night would have been 1.35 times more enjoyable if John Goodman was reporting on draft night trades instead of Jeff Goodman.

I’m sure Jeff Goodman is a nice guy and all, but, well…c’mon. Have you ever not enjoyed even a minute of John Goodman’s screen time? He’s probably the most underrated actor of his generation. In fact, what the heck… in lieu of a top ten draft steals list, here’s a list of the 10 greatest John Goodman characters:
10. Coach Harris – Revenge of the Nerds
9. Babe Ruth – The Babe
8. Howard – Cloverfield Lane (low-key terrifying)
7. Harling Mays – Flight
6. John Chambers – Argo
5. Dan Connor – Roseanne (he carried the show towards the end…and really, the whole time)
4. Ralph – King Ralph
3. Delbert McClinock – Arachnophobia (he is the only re-watchable thing about this movie)
2. Walter Sobchak – The Big Lebowski
1. Linda Tripp – SNL

Dennis Smith will be Rick Carlisle’s greatest challenge yet.

In the interview that took place immediately after he was selected, Smith managed to talk about the numbers he put up during his lone season at college…the one in which he went 4-14 in conference play. Just in case anyone forgot. Sure, he might end up being the most talented player in the draft, and if there’s anyone who can get him to defend/pass/be a functional NBA player, its the Wizard of Dallas. But boy, learn to pick your spots kid…

Finally, mercifully, Knicks fans can breathe again…but should keep an inhaler close by.

It’s been a rough 72 hours for supporters of the Kazoos. To understand why, you have to understand that Knicks fans want nothing more than to simply be unencumbered in rooting for their team. It has mostly been a long, dark road for 20 years. Kristaps Porzingis represented an incandescent light at the end of the tunnel.

Suddenly, we had to wrap our minds around the fact that within a span of two months, things had gotten so bad with the franchise savior that he was actually on the trading block. We didn’t want to believe it. As the draft got closer, fans started to rationalize possible hauls, and then, finally…nothing. Into the abyss of uncertainty we go.

All is not lost, although rough times lie ahead. Dennis Smith will have highlights next season that will make New Yorkers cringe. Phil Jackson doesn’t care. Nor does he care that he is on the outs with Porzingis at the moment. Remember, he won multiple championships with Kobe Bryant after he called him uncoachable and claimed that he threw games in high school.

Must Read: 2017 NBA Draft: Grading All 30 First-Round Picks

“We know what we’re doing.” They just might…or the sun will rise tomorrow. Either is possible. Regardless, for the moment at least, Knicks fans have avoided yet another gut punch. For how long is anyone’s guess.