14. New York Knicks
Key additions: Mario Hezonja (FA), Noah Vonleh (FA), Kevin Knox (draft)
Key losses: Kyle O’Quinn (FA), Michael Beasley (FA)
AS PART OF MY FINAL PROJECT in my first year university management course, I was tasked with creating a two minute mock-speech acting in an interview for my dream job. I not only had to say a speech but look and play the role. The purpose was to sell my professor (the interviewer) and an audience of 60 shareholders (my classmates) on hiring me. I couldn’t figure out what to use for my dream job – the opportunities were endless. I needed to find something unique and interesting that would catch the audience’s attention while also providing enough entertainment to keep their interest.
So I thought of a dream life for most guys. I asked myself: what’s a job there’s only 30 of in the entire world that can make me millions for wearing a suit every day, smoking cigars, taking a vacation any time I want, and publicly saying whatever’s on my mind whenever I feel like it, all while managing one of the world’s most iconic private entities and doing little actual work?
Besides joining the Mob, I thought Phil Jackson‘s role in New York (he was still active at the time) best fit the description.
Daily Knicks
So I threw on a Moore’s suit and gave my best impression of a guy gunning for President of Basketball Operations for the New York Knicks. I’m not sure if it was me bringing up the Lamar Odom signing (Stephen A. got in big trouble for this), the Derek Fisher hiring, the blowing up of a talented roster, the crazy ex-girlfriend style tweets, giving Joakim Noah one of the worst contracts ever, the publicly-ended engagement, or anything Phil ever did to Carmelo Anthony, but the results were evident.
The audience (a bunch of 19-22 year-olds who got out of bed half an hour before – I’d estimate 12-15 of them knew who Jackson was before I said a word) ate it up. Thirty seconds in, it became clear that I didn’t even need to highlight my own skills to get the job. I just had to keep shining light on Jackson’s endless miscues and it was enough to get hired (I wonder if this is how Donnie Walsh took over Isiah Thomas‘ job). So that’s all I really did for two minutes, and a week later my classmates voted my performance the best in the class. I’m not sure if they gave me credit for wanting to work for James Dolan or if Phil’s time in New York was really just that bad. Two things happened as a result of this:
- I was awarded an extra 2% in the class overall, the first ever positive outcome from Jackson joining the Knicks front office
- It became clear the New York Knicks franchise has become a universal laughingstock
A year after his firing, the Knicks are in shambles, and they will feel Phil’s effects for years to come if they strike out in next year’s free agency. His incompetence, unprofessionalism, and utter lack of giving a crap created an unworkable environment and tainted the franchise. Already a depleted roster, Kristaps Porzingis could miss the entire season. It can’t get much worse in New York. Since their franchise player is hurt (and injury prone when healthy), they’re putting all their eggs into a star signing a max contract with them next summer and acquiring another via their accumulated assets. I wouldn’t have much hope of it working. The fact the Knicks play in the biggest market in North America and Amar’e Stoudemire is the only “star” the franchise has signed this millennium speaks wonders to their horrendous upper management.
For everything I’ve said about Dan Gilbert, Dolan is just as bad for letting all of this happen. As long as he’s around, New York will be a fine source of entertainment and nothing more. I long wonder if a nineteen-year-old business student could have ran the Knicks better from Canada than Jackson in his three seasons at MSG.
Knicks projected record: 22-60
Knicks chances of making the playoffs: 1%
Knicks chances of winning the East: <1%