Like every other hoops fan, I’m sitting at home during this period of quarantine, watching my favorite basketball movies. As the hours of binge-watching add up, you have to wonder what an all-time fictional character squad would look like.
Putting together an all-time fictional character team wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Think about it. Every fictional basketball player balls out in their movie! He hits the game-winning shot, gets a championship, and rides off into the sunset. I had to dive a little deeper to figure out the squad.
My first criteria for building the team was the ability to defend your position. Not that they had a true shot at making the team, but this immediately knocked Air Bud and Calvin Cambridge from Like Mike out of the running.
I also penalized players for not playing on a regulation hoop. I’m not giving credit to guys playing on an 8-foot rim. Will Smith was a superstar for Bel-Air Academy, but he was also playing on the smallest court I’ve ever seen. The 3-point line and halfcourt were practically the same distance from the basket.
Most importantly, I need the players on this team to pass the eye test. Everyone on this squad actually looks like they know how to play basketball. I didn’t fall for all of the unrealistic flashes of Sydney Dean in White Men Can’t Jump or the bizarre shooting streak of Tom Cruise in Cocktail.
After some careful consideration, and hours of watching Netflix, I was able to select five starters, a 6th man and a head coach.
Here’s my All-Time fictional character squad.